HEADLINE: Times may change, but back at Ridgemont High the party goes on

BYLINE: Karla Peterson

Billion-dollar special effects are fine. So are gorgeous stars, flaming car crashes, cute kids and Tom Hanks.

But the truth is, all of these Hollywood staples are just frills. Regardless of age, taste or Siskel/Ebert preference, a moviegoer's real needs are as elemental as a newborn's. When we put our money on that counter and plant our butts in those plush seats, all we really want is the knowledge that we're in good hands. "Do with us what you will," we say. "Just don't drop us on our heads."

It is a simple request that Hollywood can't seem to honor with any regularity, so when a film does live up to its end of the bargain, a celebration is definitely in order. And with critics and audiences currently showering Amy Heckerling's teen comedy, "Clueless," with cheery reviews and robust box-office returns, somebody should save some confetti for the first time director Heckerling went to high school and graduated with honors.

It happened in 1982, when Hecklering made her directorial debut with "Fast Times At Ridgemont High," a low-budget film about life in a typical Southern California high school. When it was first released, the little movie was a bigger hit than anyone expected. Thirteen years later, it's easy to see why.

You can start with the credits, a Who's That? list that now reads like a Who's Who roll call. In addition to marking the screenwriting debut of rock journalist Cameron Crowe (who later wrote and directed "Say Anything" and "Singles"), "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" features fleeting glimpses of Forest Whitaker ("Bird"), Eric Stolz ("Pulp Fiction"), Anthony Edwards ("Top Gun" and "E.R.") and Nicolas Cage ("Honeymoon in Vegas"), all appearing on the big screen for the first time.

And in the pivotal roles of Stacy (the Nice Girl), Linda (the Experienced Girl), Brad (Big Man on Campus), and Jeff Spicoli (the Stoner), "Fast Times" treats you to the first star turns by Jennifer Jason Leigh, Phoebe Cates, Judge Reinhold and, in what is still one of his best roles, a delightfully dim Sean Penn.

It's tough to go wrong with a crew like that, and Heckerling rarely does. Thanks to Crowe's rollicking script (based on the book he wrote after going "undercover" as a student at Clairemont High School) and the eerily accurate performances of the young, frighteningly talented cast, Heckerling created a rarity -- a teen film that doesn't judge, patronize or exploit. "Here's what happened," it says with a good-natured shrug. "Was life weird, or what?"

As it follows Spicoli and the gang through one bumpy school year, "Fast Times" tackles sex, drugs, teen pregnancy and adolescent angst with such affectionate humor, even the hard knocks feel like love taps. And through their excruciating rites of teen passage, they learn such vital life lessons as: sex without love or affection sort of stinks; an imperfect friend is better than an untrustworthy lover; never trust a stereo salesman; and Spicoli's always-appropriate, "People on 'ludes should not drive."

"Fast Times At Ridgemont High" doesn't break new ground or blaze new trails; it just takes sure steps from one small moment to another without stumbling over itself in an effort to please, shock or impress.

From the tart snap of the new-wave soundtrack to the dizzy charm of its stars (particularly Penn), Heckerling's smart debut does all the little things right, making it the kind of film you can trust with your time, your money and your moviegoing faith. After 13 years, "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" holds up its end of things, making it a bargain worth snapping up, and a bit of magic you can believe in.

GRAPHIC: 1 PHOTO; Have van, will cruise: Eric Stoltz